Skip the Spouse & Buy the House

I got myself in a position where I wasn’t idolizing nor coveting relationships, but keeping God as the foundation and the main focus. I remained obedient even when it was hard, trusted even when I wanted to give up my desires of becoming a wife. I am so glad I showed up for myself and prepared for what was to come instead of constantly wishing for the next season. Stop waiting on “bae” to secure your financial future. You don’t have to wait until you fall in love and live “happily ever after” to become a homeowner. Skip the “spouse” and buy the house! You can do it on your own and if you have the desire when the time is right you and your spouse will have your very own home TOGETHER. Don’t worry while you wait. Work while you wait.

SKIP THE SPOUSE: When I say, “I am so glad I showed up for myself”, I really meant that. It took me some time and some hard work to transform from my old way of thinking to where I am now. The biggest desire in my heart was being a wife, to the point I was idolizing it. My entire life and decisions was based on if I was a wife already or not. I really thought that it was pointless for me to buy a house for just me, then later on get married and have to buy another house all over again to house a family. Where did I get ALL those lies from? That is so far from the truth. That way of thinking kept me in a current state of, wishing for the next season. When you are in a constant state of wishing then you really aren’t living. To be living is having life and actual existence. Wishing, in the way I was using it meant to long for, to want, and to desire. There is nothing with wishing, but if your in a constant state of wishing for the next season then that tells me your not really living in the moment and enjoying your current season. To live and have life for me now is to really enjoy my current season and embrace where I am currently instead of wishing for the next season to start living happily ever after.

Romans 12;2 NLT Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

BUY THE HOUSE: Bags & shoes are nice but titles and deeds are nicer. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life living my dreams and without fear”. You see, according to my own timeline and the plans I had for myself, I wanted to purchase a home after I graduated nursing school and pay off the car to eliminate a bill before accumulating more debt. Let’s keep it real, that would have been a DOPE graduation gift to myself which was always my plan. I was passing my Med surg 2 course up until I took that final exam, which took me straight out of nursing school for 8 months before I can get back on track. Right after finding out, I not only failed the final but the course too, I immediately went into, trying to figure my life out and make new plans. Me figuring out my new plans, still meant hanging onto purchasing a home and paying off the car as a graduation gift to myself. This was in April of 2019 I was making these new plans, where my now, new graduation date had changed from 2020 to 2021. In my plans I had put off purchasing a home and paying off my car until then, 2021.

Now, you do all that math if you so choose to do so, do it at your own risk. Fast forward, between August 4-October 4, 2019 I closed on my condo and payed off my car. Alexa play “God’s Plan” by Drake.

Because I was holding on tight to the plans that I made for myself instead of consulting God first, I renewed my lease in July 2019 because I knew I wasn’t moving this year. I went to pay my rent Thursday August 1st and I got mad over $10. My leasing office had all of sudden decided to charge me an additional $10 for a “risk Mitigation fee” that I never payed in all of my 2 years of living there. The leasing office did not accept my check because it was $10 short. In my mind I wanted to curse everybody out in that office and I mean really “curse” but instantly I was interrupted by the Holy Spirit and I took my check right out the door with me and I said “have a good day”. Later on that night as I slept on it and The Lord dealt with me and all my pettiness, all my madness, and all my emotions of being in my feelings over them not accepting my check, the Holy spirit woke me out of my sleep. I had a brand new attitude when I woke up that Friday morning. I had gladly pulled out my check book and wrote the check for an additional $10 and I was so excited to pay them. My new attitude, that new renewed mindset I got in Romans 12;2 gave me the confidence of, girl it’s just $10, they not gone have to worry about me not too much longer cause I am not renewing anymore leases with them after this. That was that!

As I went to sleep Friday night the Holy Spirt kept tugging on my heart and it continued the rest of the weekend. The Holy Spirt had put it so heavy on my heart that I acted out of obedience. Late Saturday night going into early Sunday morning I applied for a

pre-approval and immediately following I emailed Lauren. This was early in the morning while I was at work and an early Sunday morning at that, I wasn’t expecting a response from her until normal business hours. To my surprise she replied back to me right away, in fact, before my midnight shift ended right away. In the moment I was just acting out of obedience and responding to the Holy Spirit, I didn’t know at the time what was really going on or should I say, what was about to go on in my life.

I want to say initially Me and Lauren looked at our first house that following Wednesday, literally the shopping, the going to look at the inside of homes, the fun part went by so fast with me by August 19, 2019 I was getting my inspection done.

The frustrating, the not so fun part of the process is getting approved for the loan. I initially got approved for a decent amount but it was not good enough for me. The houses I was looking at cost more than what I was approved for. I was done right there! This bank basically told me my student loans were in the way. Hypothetically, I asked him what if I paid off the car, would I then have enough spending power I wanted, the answer was, NO! Even though I was just asking for future reference cause at this time paying off my car is not even in it anymore at this time. In my mind, I still have a year of nursing school left, paying a mortgage and a car note all just seemed too much for me to handle all at once. Here is where I started to doubt what the Holy Spirit had told me. Thankfully I picked up my confidence in what seemed to be a crisis to me.

I decided to use a loan officer that works with Lauren which made the process a little easier for me since they knew each other already. Some conversations I was able to be left out of and refer her back to the loan officer and vice versa. He was also able to get me more spending power (The approval amount) which is what I needed to even look inside the houses I was looking at. I also did not have to pay off my car. Your girl have taste and sometimes having a little flavor will cost you more, more than I had ever bargained for, don’t worry I will elaborate on that later as you continue to read. I am a veteran and of course all the homes I was looking at, did not accept VA home loans. There goes my no money down, I thought. The loan officer was able to get me a different kind of loan with a grant. He knew some people in higher places. That grant is what drew out my loan process.

My inspection was good to go and at this point I thought I was in the clear and I am just waiting on all this paper work to be done. By this time I am out doing my furniture shopping for the house and I had even decided to share it with social media. The loan officer had made a clerical error on my application. He called to tell me this in the most drawn out way he could think of, in my mind I am like get to the point already, and before I knew it, he said “you cannot get that house”, every thing in me dropped and my heart had completely stopped for a second as I said “WHAT”. To make a long story short, I had two jobs and I made more money at one and he flip flopped them on the application. My debt to income ratio was too high and the only debt I had at the time not counting student loans was my car. As I sat on the phone calmly as I could be, and let him explain it all, somewhere in his explaining peace overcame me and the last thing he said as he explained it, in disbelief, “you’re probably going to have to pay off that car, that’s the only way you can get this house”, my response to it all as I sighed for breath, “I am getting that house” there was a moment of silence and then I broke the silence with “then I guess I am paying off the car”. He felt so relieved by my response and how I handled all the news he had gave me as he was very apologetic of his mistake. By the grace of God and ONLY the grace of God I had $14,000 saved up somewhere. Which at that point had just eliminated all the new furniture I had just picked out, so I thought. Even at this point the loan approval was delayed even more with all the moving money around, paying the car off early, getting the proof right away and getting it all done in a timely manner. I had to be out of my apartment by the end of September. Disclaimer: My apartment complex allowed me break my lease I had just renewed, and I did not have to pay a dime. Which later, they discovered the way they went about that wasn’t right. In my mind I was laughing and thinking to myself, Ooops, not my problem kinda thing, Thank you God for moving hearts on my behalf. Habakkuk 2;3 NLT This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.

You CAN be young, you can be in love, you can be on fire for God, and you can have money. You can have it ALL!! When its your turn, it doesn’t matter if you’re at the back of the line, God will move you to the front. On October 4, 2019 I officially closed on my condo, car was paid off and I walked in DEBT free. I also managed to get all my new furniture I had picked out. I did not have to take any of my old furniture with me to my new home. I am still AMAZED how God pulled all that off.

I don’t want to take another step without God. How many times do we move forward without God? One too many times. See, moving WITH God is more powerful and impactful than any move I could make by myself. Feeling stuck? Or maybe you feel like you’re going nowhere really fast. It is probably because you are moving but its not in God’s will. Remember that we can plan all we want to, but God is the one who orders our steps. We cannot succeed without God. There is NO failure in God’s will. What we recognize as failure is nothing but a growing experience if we allow it to be. So change your mindset. Change your attitude, and decide to move WITH God instead of without Him. Trust His plan for your life.

Jeremiah 29;11 NLT For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 3;5-6 NLT Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

When you get out of the will of God, being in His presence constantly, He will get you out of situations you put yourself into to get back in His will. That’s the kind of God I serve. Even though I learned and I am still learning that I can truly depend on and trust God with all areas of my life, that spouse, that car, that house, the degree and even my plans that I was holding onto so tightly, that there is still no place I rather be than the will of God for my life. No matter how hard it gets, I am staying right here!