Fears comes to every person. It seems to be the first emotion we feel when things in our lives get beyond our control.
Have you ever studied, did all the work that you knew to do, sacrificed all your time and sleep, got up early on test day ate the proper nutrients to make your brain function and remember all that you studied and ready to rock and roll because, YAY, its test day and you are prepared for this moment. Disclaimer, “Everybody just loves test day”, says no nursing student, NEVER! So, you took the test and you felt good about it only for grades to be posted and prove that you did not understand the material as well as you thought you did. In nursing school your grades ultimately mainly come from your test/exam grades you don’t get no class room assignments or if you do the point value is small. Anyhow, sometimes a failed or a bad test/grade can wipe you out the whole class. LOL That is exactly what happened to me and if I just be honest it happened more than once. The truth is no matter how incredible you are or how ready you feel you are going to fail along the road to purpose. Failure refines us. We mature through failures because we learn from them much more than from successes. Through failures our character is formed. Romans 5;3-5 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
I’ll give you a brief timeline for the sake of it, I failed OB when I was in LPN school which set me back to graduate three months later. After graduation I took the Nclex and 112 questions later, I discovered that I failed that too. After my waiting period I retested and 85 questions later I passed it. Continuing on my journey I just knew that I had tucked failure away. NO! NO! NO! I was all wrong. Here I am in a three year RN, BSN program which I turned into four years really quick after failing Med surg 2.
I had learned to function within the boundaries that my insecurities and fears created. It would be one experience, set back or let down that would change my boundaries in such a way I didn’t live out loud the way I used to and I didn’t connect with people the way I once did because I failed and was too afraid to admit it.
There was lots of tears, worries, fears, self-doubt, insecurity and suffering going on behind the scenes of me failing at something and getting back up again and giving it my all. Suffering reveals what we truly believe in for our hope and strength. Usually suffering makes us angry because it hinders what we want to do, what we set out to achieve, it spoils our plans and ruins what we desire. It reveals where our true hope lies.
Life challenges promise us endless opportunities to reassess, reevaluate and push beyond the boundaries of comfort over and over again. If voices of insecurity, doubt and fear are not confronted, they will dictate your life.
During each failure as I stayed connected to God, I was growing spiritually. I had to change my narrative on situations in my life. God will never let failure have the final say. I may not be at the end YET but because I decided to confront my failures, I am able to pick myself up and keep going. I am not here today because everything was all good and I did everything the right way, it wasn’t like I made it out without any scratches. I am here because God said he will never leave me where failure met me. The weapon may have formed but it would not prosper, Romans 8:28 would put it like this “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Its often the excitement of uncertain outcomes that drives us to learn from failures and improve, in the hope of avoiding more. But the potential for failure must be real. I pray that this blog has challenged someone to not let fear of failing or past failures stop them from dreaming. If you don’t confront failure you will just live a dull life that is devoid of daring. This means that no matter what your situation in life feels or looks like, we should continue to speak faith, not fear. Anytime doubt, worry, or fear comes, instead of saying “I am afraid”, or “I am worried”, or “I doubt,” say, “I believe God and I will see His glory”, or quote another scripture that you feel fits the situation you are in.
Don’t merely do what is right for a short while and then give it up if you don’t get a quick result. Do what is right over and over until you break the strongholds. Galatians 6;9 So lets not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
Love always
De'Ana L. Williams
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